My first day . . .

2 weeks of incredible stress and emotions lead up to Labor Day . . . the day I left the US for Mexico.  I’m writing this blog a few days later as the stress and un-organization of my first few days in the Yucatan didn’t leave me much desire to be creative with words. 

I woke up Monday morning around 3:45 am . . after having slept only about 3 hours.  I woke up with a feeling that I’d probably describe as dread.  I was excited about my adventure, but this was the first time I was going to be truly leaving my family.  Not for just a quick trip, not for just a visit . . . but I was moving away.  I no longer have an apartment in the USA.  I no longer have a JOB in the USA. And that idea really freaked me out!  More than I ever expected it would. 

I spent the morning packing up and making sure everything was ready to go.  I spent a bit of time with the kitties . . . I had to leave them behind for a month.  This tears me apart, even know (as my previous blogs will suggest.)  I’m not as worried as I was, but I’m still worried about them.   I have an incredible connection with animals.  I think it has to do with the fact that they depend on me.  They can’t talk back to me and I know their love is unlimited and boundless.  I often attach to animals quicker and deeper than I do to humans because I know I won’t be hurt by them, not on purpose.  The only time I feel pain is if they are in pain or if they pass.  They don’t judge me . . . they just accept things as it is.  And they are always happy to see me.  So to be the person that causes them stress and fear is very distressing to me. 

But as I’ve been told by many people . . they will be ok.  They only act out because *I* stress out . . . so in essence I cause them more stress than they would feel in the first place!  Go me!  It frustrates me, because my head knows better.  My brain knows they will be just fine, and they will adapt quickly . . . but my heart breaks a little every time I think about it.  I can’t help it! 

Anyway . . . I’ve gotten off on a tangent.  At 5 am, we packed up the truck with 2 ridiculously heavy suitcases, my horn case and my purse (aka laptop bag, aka kitchen sink carrier).  I got in the car . . . and I cried.  Now for those that know me . . . I don’t do crying.  It’s not something I do.  It’s mortifying to me to let people see that intimate side of me.  But this day?  I couldn’t help myself.  And it wouldn’t be the only time. 

We got to the airport and I said bye to Dad at the truck.  I cried again.  Damn these tears.  Mom walked with me into the terminal where I checked in.  It’s amazing how few people are at the airport that early in the morning!  I sent my checked bags through security and said bye to Mom.  More tears!  In truth, my family is SO important in my life.  I have the most amazing parents in the world . . . and have never been further than an hour and a half drive from them . . . in my entire life!  So this was quite a life changing experience for me.  Hence the tears. I was heading into uncharted territory. 

I killed time finding breakfast and relaxing at the gate. I was nervous and apprehensive and I really didn’t know what I was in for.  Finally we boarded the plane to Chicago.  The plane was small, and I was able to change seats so I didn’t have to check my horn.  I’m fiercely protective of my horn (kinda like my cats in a way), so I was ready to do battle.  Thankfully, the entire trip went off without a hitch . . . thank you United Airlines for being so accommodating! 

This turned out to be the most emotional plane flight I’ve ever taken.  I remember when I was little . . maybe 8 (or so . . maybe older I don’t quite remember) , my parents put me on a little plane by myself  to go visit my grandmother in Kentucky.  I remember being on the plane . . and being excited to be by myself . . but as soon as the plane started moving I freaked out and started crying.   Obviously this was a while ago because I remember my parents waving at the gate window watching the plane pull away.  The feeling of leaving Cleveland was not unlike that first solo plane ride so many years ago.  I hate to admit it . . . but Cleveland is my home.  I know it and love it and have grown up there . . . into the person that I am today.   And pulling away in that plane, knowing that I was no longer going to be living in the land of Cleve was incredibly emotional (I can feel my throat getting tight just writing this).  I formed and then changed my entire life in that town.  I became who I am . . . forged incredible friendships and incredible networks (music and corporate) in that town and I was leaving the safety of what I knew for something completely unknown.   As the plane took off and I watched Cleveland get smaller . . . I was flooded with emotion . . . fear, sadness, love, more fear.  I’m glad I was sitting alone in that seat because again, I cried.   I tried to hold it in but there was nothing stopping this one.  I put on a good mask in front of people . . I hide quite a lot of emotion . . . but when it comes down to it . . . I am an EXTREMELY emotional person and there was no holding back on Monday. 

Thankfully the trip to Chicago was quick and bumpy . . . and by the time we landed I was a bit numb from all the emotion.   It was a good thing truthfully . . . it let me relax a little bit.  I had an hour and a half to kill before my next flight out . . . so I stopped at Starbucks, got my usual cup of coffee (which was oddly therapeutic) and sat at the gate waiting on my flight. 

As this was a flight to Cancun, you can imagine who I was traveling with.  Dozens of newlyweds and a few too skinny/too tan society type ladies heading off to get more sun.  I felt incredibly out of place.  The plane itself was incredible.  There was plenty of leg room and the seats were cushy and comfortable.  A newly married couple behind me had relations with the airline, and received a HUGE gift basket of food once they boarded .. . which they proceeded to share with the entire plane.  The atmosphere was light and happy and completely opposite of what I was feeling!  I never felt more alone than I did on that plane. 

I probably slept the entire flight (in bits and spurts).  The flight was only 3 hours long (3 hours!!!). . . but it felt like EONS to me as I flew towards a new life.  I got my first glimpse of the water in the Gulf as we prepared to land . . . and I do have to admit . . the turquoise color of the water made me smile.  A brightly colored note in my rather bleak day so far.  Flying over the land brought unfamiliar sights . . . you really don’t see anything other than jungle.  Thick, dense jungle.  But it was incredibly green.  Looking out the window, you’d have no idea how warm it was out there.  Everything just sparkled. 

We were finally able to deplane, and I got my first feeling of the heat.  It was an amazing feeling.  Truthfully, it’s not that HOT . . . but the humidity makes it a bit suffocating.  I’ve already begun to get used to it . . . but by the time my bags made their way around the carousel . . . I was already sweating.  Inside. 

The first thing that hit me once I entered the building was something that I’m going to get very used  to here in the Yucatan.  The musty, moldy smell.  Because of the humidity . . . everything is WET.  And it stays that way.  So mold grows like crazy in these areas.  There are musicians that left their instruments here before going on vacation . . . and they returned to instruments covered in mold.  Incredible!   I’ve been told to save the silica packets that come when you buy new equipment . . and to pack them in anything that’s going to stay here in the Yucatan . . . otherwise it will grow mold!  The airport smelled of mold . . . my hotel room smells musty . . the bank here in town smells of mold.  It’s pretty unnerving!

I finally made it through customs (after one of the guards raped my handbag . . not sure what he was looking for but he tore everything out of it . . then put it all back and said “vamonos!”. . . ook thanks!) and met my ride.  Jorge (I believe that is his name) had a big white sign with my name on it.  I felt like a celebrity.  Unfortunately Jorge didn’t speak any English . . . and I was doomed to a 4 hour car trip . . spent in silence. 

I was told that when I arrived my ride (Jorge I guess) would help me get money, show me to my hotel and then show me to the theater (as I had rehearsal the very next morning.)

Jorge drove like a madman through the incredible countryside (the butterflies here are awe inspiring.  And they are EVERYWHERE!  I will try to catch some pictures!  They are more in the jungle than the city, but I’ve seen some huge ones around.)   The road is a direct shot from Cancun to Merida . . . there are no exits. . . there are no entrances.  Not like a highway you know in the us.  All around you is jungle . . . and this 4 lane highway.  There are many ‘ritorno’s’ . .. basically they let you do a U-turn and head back the way you came.  Otherwise . . that’s it.  And there was NO ONE on the road with us.  I think we passed 2 cars.  We also passed a few wayward Mexicans on bicycles.  Can you imagine?  A 4 hour trip by car . . . I don’t even want to know how long it took those men to make that trip by bike.  (These bikes are 3 wheelers with wooden pallets on the back . . the street vendors use these to sell their wares  pretty much everywhere here in Mexico.) 

My first impression of Mexico was destitute.  What you see in the resorts is not at all what you get in the rest of the country.  It’s so incredibly poor.  The roads are a mess and full of potholes big enough to swallow an entire wheel.   People just go around them.  The buildings are small, brightly colored and incredibly run down.  It’s very dirty . . not like what I’m used to seeing in the US.  There are no manicured lawns or pretty store fronts.  A typical store front is a large rolling metal slat door with an entrance door cut into the middle of it.  If there is a lovely store front . . . no one goes in because it’s too expensive.  Restaurants and businesses go in and out of business here quicker than you can blink an eye. 

Jorge drove me through the city . . . still not saying anything.  We drove by some gorgeous,ancient buildings surrounded by poverty.  He drove by one newer looking building and pointed and said “Teatro!” and kept on driving.  I felt slightly panicked, because I hoped he was going to take me back there.  This city is incredibly confusing . . . it all looks the same. 

He then delivered me to my hotel.  Hotel El Cid.  Very depressing place.  I have a front room . . a “kitchen” ( a room with a tiny counter and a very vintage sink), a grungy looking bathroom and a bedroom in the back with 2 double beds that are HIDEOUSLY uncomfortable.  He tried to give me directions to the theater and left me there . . . with no money, no food, and NO idea where I was or what I was doing. 

Needless to say I panicked.  I asked the guy at the front desk about an ATM close by and he said . . “ummm. . . . no” and shook his head.  Great.  Then he said “free Wi-Fi in lobby!” . . . THANK YOU GOD.  So I walked into my room . . . sat down on one of the beds and I cried.  I SOBBED.  What the hell was I doing here?  Was I crazy?  This is ridiculous what was I thinking coming to a 3^rd world country thinking I could work and survive here.  I wanted my mommy!

So that’s exactly what I did.  I went to the lobby, figured out how to get on the wi-fi and I skyped Mom and Dad.  I told them everything . . . and then THEY panicked!  (can’t say I blame them. . . sorry guys!).  Needless to say a few hours and a few emails later (by me and by them) and I had dinner delivered to my room (Domino’s Pizza for crying out loud)  and a huge bottle of water.  I ate my food and tried to get some sleep. 

Craziest first day of my life. 

As this is getting ridiculously long . . . I’m going to end here and I’ll continue a little later!